Look y’all, I’mma be real with you.

​

Things have been tough. You know it. I know it. 

​

The national climate continues to be deeply hostile to LGBT+ people, especially trans, nonbinary, and gender-expansive folk. Lawmakers, agencies, health institutions continue to propose and implement policies that target queer and trans people and our rights. My dirty dishes continue to be completely out of control, and I have no time to clean them.

​

Okay, obviously that last one isn’t nearly so serious as the first two, but it does illustrate a real challenge facing us all — how do we balance the incredible stress and demands of such difficult times with the continued realities and responsibilities of daily life? How do we find time and space for self-care amidst everything going on? How do we create, foster, and cultivate queer joy when it feels like such big forces are committed instead to cultivating queer sorrow and fear?

 

My therapist keeps telling me that self-care and joy are actually more important than ever before. She keeps telling me that we have to make time to take care of ourselves and our well-being if we want to be able to take care of each other and our community. And she keeps telling me that it’s important to set smaller-scale achievable goals when it feels like all the challenges we’re facing are so big.

 

And, per usual, she’s right. (Don’t tell her I said that!)

 

So here’s a few achievable goals I think we all can try to accomplish in the coming weeks:

 

Practice gratitude

Gratitude can be a powerful antidote to fear. Instead of ruminating on things we’re worried about, we can spend more time meditating on things we’re grateful for. Each morning and each evening, I start and end my day by thinking of three things I’m grateful for and taking a long moment to be intentional in letting that gratitude fill me.

​

Today, I’m grateful for my colleagues at Centre LGBT+ who do such incredible work every day on behalf of our local queer community; I’m grateful for my wife and my kids who always love and support me without hesitation or question; and I’m grateful for the rain that’s coming down as I’m writing this, because it means I don’t need to water my plants today.

​

What are you grateful for?

​

Do something for yourself 

In the seminal TV show Twin Peaks, Special Agent Dale Cooper gives an amazing piece of life advice: “Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee.”

 

I’ve found that many people are willing to extend kindness and do favors for their friends and their family, even for perfect strangers — but we struggle to do the same for ourselves.

​

So, every day, extend yourself a kindness and do yourself a favor. Give yourself the same love you so freely give to others. Challenge that imposter syndrome telling you lies about yourself! 

​

Today, my present to myself was using 30 minutes of my lunch to go for a little walk. Thankfully I remembered my umbrella!

 

What are you going to do for yourself today?

​

Set achievable goals

Back to my dishes. Bane of my existence. But instead of beating myself up that I don’t have them done all at once and my kitchen perfectly clean, what if I set an achievable goal to load my dishwasher and handwash one pan?

 

Yes, there will be still stuff leftover — but getting anything done is infinitely more accomplished than getting nothing done.

 

I think this idea applies to a lot of things. Can’t make it to the gym? Take a walk around the neighborhood. Can’t put away that clean laundry that’s been in the basket for a week? Hang a couple shirts. Can’t check in on everyone in your life? Send one note reminding someone you’re thinking about them.

​

I also think this applies to advocacy! Here are a few things you can do to make a difference — pick which ones feel achievable to you!

• Make one phone call to one of Pennsylvania’s U.S. senators and urge them to reject anti-trans policies baked into the federal appropriations bill!

• Call your state representative or senator and ask them to support the Fairness Act in the Pennsylvania legislature!

• Show up to Harrisburg on Oct. 26 for the first major statewide LGBT+ rally and march on the PA capitol in ten years — an event that Centre LGBT+ is helping organize!

• Make sure you’re registered to vote and show up to the polls! Voting is a critical harm-reduction mechanism for vulnerable communities like LGBT+ people!

• Make a small monthly donation to an organization (like us, maybe) who is doing good work that you want to help support. Support from our community is how Centre LGBT+ has been able to keep advocating for our queer community for more than ten years!

​

And no matter what you do today, remember:

​

Centre LGBT+ is here for you. Our community space at 204 E Calder Way is here for you, our resources and programming are here for you, and we are going to keep doing the work to serve, support, and empower our local queer community.

Okay… now to go tackle some dishes.